So there I was, all ramped up after the season finale of LOST Season Five. I hugged my wife as she screamed as the white screen gave us our inverted logo signifying the end of the season and the beginning of our wait. Not a week later, I started rewatching the season with my dad, eagerly absorbing anything I might have missed on the first watching. When it finished the second time, it was my turn to scream. Not because of the cliffhanger, but because of the knowledge that there was only one season left. The final season.
And now, that final season is well underway. And while I make sure I catch it on Tuesday nights come Hell or high water, I can’t say that I’m as psyched about it as I know I should be.
I mean, come on. To be a fan of LOST at this point denotes a certain lack of rationality and craziness. It’s just inherent in the show’s fanbase by now. And every other season, I’ve had that fervor. I’m a bad nerd because something has changed this season. I kind of suck at being a LOST fanboy.
I thought at first that it was because it was a lackluster season. I was not the biggest fan of how the season began. While I was intrigued by the so-called “flash sideways” segments (from here on out referred to as the alternate reality because I hate the official term even though there is no guarantee there is anything alternate about it), I was more irked that the season is drawing to a close and instead of wrapping things up and resolving issues, the writers just introduce more characters and situations that need explaining.
But whatever, I can deal with that. That’s LOST, after all.
But when the next episode comes on, instead of answering any questions, the writers spend one of our precious (said in a Gollum voice, if you must know) hours having characters argue about what’s inside that itty bitty pill Dogen wants to give Sayid. A whole episode.
And then in the atply titled “Lighthouse” episode, Jack and Hurley find a deus ex machina lighthouse they’ve never seen before, even though the survivors have sailed the entire perimeter of the Island and never caught a glimpse of it. But that’s okay because I think the quote they used was “we weren’t meant to see it until now” or something along those lines. See, desinty/fate/predestination/free will stuff, right? Sigh.
But then the season one-upped me. It played its (first) trump card. The episode “Dr. Linus” aired this week and gave me almost exactly what I had been hoping for out of the season. While there were not any explicit revelations or loose ends tied together, “Dr. Linus” finally took long-running threads and gave audiences something to do with them. While doing my best to avoid spoilers, “Dr. Linus” let us inside Ben’s head like never before and offered quite a few possibilities for how the two timelines this season interact and potentially impact one another.
The more I think about the episode, the more pleased with it I become. Yet somehow, I still can’t rile myself up into the frenzy of checking The Fuselage or even watching Doc Jensen’s Totally LOST series on EW.com. Heck, I cannot even make myself take the time to read his weekly previews and recaps, which is my favorite part of LOST nerding out. Even though I was finally able to push past the idea of the season itself lacking something, I still cannot delve into it like I want to.
But why? I wish I could tell you for sure. I wish I could tell me for sure. I have had a lot of personal drama and issues going on for the past few months as well as just finishing up an intensive 8-week night literature survey course. My brainyparts hurt (thank my wife for that term, by the way) from overstimulation and exhaustion, and I feel bad that I just do not seem to have it in me to get all crazy obsessive over LOST. And that makes me sad because it’s one my favorite shows—if not my favorite show—ever. It deserves me going a little crazy over it.
Maybe as the season draws to an end (I still have over half the season left, after all), I will develop that ridiculous fanboyishness I want to have. Like I said, “Dr. Linus” proved to me that this season is not all about drawing things out and withholding answers. So maybe there’s hope for me yet.
And if I don’t seem to find my nerdish pressure point while the season is airing, I am keeping all the episodes on my DVR so I can rewatch them serially rather than episodically and see if I can get more out of them as a season.
One thing I hope kindles a little craziness out of me is this here bloggity blog. I’ve never been able to watch LOST as it airs while my blog has been up, so now that I am back from my literature-induced hiatus, there should be some wacky fun theories/commentary about the show a time or two a week. Heck, I hope all of my TV writing ramps up with the return of V, FlashForward (as soon as I catch up), 24, and Fringe. And yet, for all those shows, I do not worry about not being a ridiculous fanboy.
There’s just something about LOST that I want to go nuts over. But this season, I cannot.
So for you other LOST-philes out there, am I the only one feeling this way? I know my wife and at least one student has expressed a little disconnectedness/frustration with this season,too. Have you?